Love & Loneliness

i was going to write about men,
but what do i know of men?
i know only one man,
and of him only a little...

so, what is it with this man,
that without that woman,
the lithe, sun-browned, golden-eyed one,
the one called melina,
his world, the world
is unspeakably lonely?
all the mystics and great teachers
have no answer. They speak
of turning away, abstinence, withdrawal.
but i say we were put here, we two,
to yearn and long for one another.
and in that yearning and longing
the world is justified,
and in the space between the our heartbeats,
the conjoined heartbeat of two lovers,
the world stops in a breathless silence,
and then, drawing a breath
from the great well of silence,
starts yet once again, out of nothingness,
praising love, praising love, praising love

Unseen Light

dearest,
i can't seem to accept what is.
all i do is carry on, moaning and complaining, and
then say i'm sorry and ask you for forgiveness.
and so, to the pain of loving me
i add the unfortunate misdemeanors
of annoyance and repetition.
still, long distance, we talk of dirt and chickens,
and inside i am dying, and
i am sorry it is taking so long (there i go again).
i don't know what to offer you now but my silence.
i love you with all my heart and soul, and
i see the love shining in your eyes,
unlike any other i have known.

so why, sometimes, my "all or nothing at all" attitude,
and why, sometimes, do i just want to die?
not that it makes any difference,
it is just another "want" - just as i want you.
and just as reality sends what it will,
death comes and takes what it will, when it will, and
love comes and takes and gives as it will,
and life blesses me with you, and
part of me turns aside and say it is not enough
and i am, at once, bitter and so ashamed,
and weeping, i grieve for and loathe my perfect imperfections.

yet our love endures, and
burns bright like the sun,
and sometimes, under that sun,
i smell springtime in the air,
and inside this tired old seed of me,
inside the ugliness,
deep in the mud,
something new and fresh and green stirs,
and moves toward the unseen light.

The Long Night

I awake early, before dawn,
thinking of you and
quietly weeping.
Seeking to ease
the pain of our separation,
I read the words
of Alan Watts, Shree Rajneesh, Jesus,
They are all so true, yet
the words remain just words, and
the longing heart remains,
the dark remains.
Soon the light, I pray,
and the start of a new day.