Again and Awake

I've been through the fire again and again,
I am ashes,
yet the pain continues.
I cry and cry again,
it changes nothing.
I hold tight, I fear,
and so cannot awake.
Yet holding tight, fearing,

I am awake.
I cry again,
in overwhelming longing and grief,
and wonder if death brings relief.
Yet i believe the mystic who said:
if you don't break your chains now
will ghosts do it in the afterlife?
And so i step into the fire
yet again, hoping to awake.
Hoping? Oh man, foolish man,
cease your hoping and awake.
Awake!